Ash Finds Out!
by e.b woodhouse
Summary: A romantic thriller take on the popular anime series; Contains some light shipping but is a lot more plot based, for fans of Supernatural, Doctor Who, M*A*S*H* and Pokemon of course! And while it does contain some shipping I think this version of Pokemon is a lot more true to the original, but how it would have really been like in real life...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One; wherein our young hero finally gets a Pokemon and meets a few new friends to share the tirbulations and trials of his adventurous trail ahead of his bright new future!

"Snakes!" Ash Catchthem's mom was screaming from kitchen. It was Summer and Ash figured she'd heard another Snake out in their grassy sun blasted yard again. He got dressed and hurried downstairs as his mom whooped and hollered about, "there's snakes everywhere!" and "Get them! Get all the snakes! Hurry!," and "you know I can't abide a snake!" she cried out over and over, she had a very nervous disposition and Ash was afraid about leaving her all alone in their house when he went to get Pokemon but was too excited to think for very long. That's why Ash wanted to be a Pokemon master and catch all the snakes so his mom can finally calm down, also he was excited about how it was the day he was old enough to go start catching pokemon because it is his birthday!

"Well," he said, entering the kitchen. The sun glinted off of his mothers vestal sacraments, he had always felt safe here, but not today, today the kitchen wasn't a place of refuge, a place to forget the world and taste something sweet for a change, no... Today the kitchen was a place where he had to face a very hard decision. His mom didn't want him to go around catching Pokemon because she knew there were snakes everywhere and he would just wind up getting swallowed up by a snake like his daddy had done ten years ago. But his mom knew what day it was too, it was his birthday, of course she knew, she had given birth to him and she kept up with the date and used calenders and clocks. She knew the score. Ash was ten years old today, old enough to decide if he should leave home to go and catch Pokemon, he was a man grown, and legally able, obligated even, to make these kinds of decisions.

"It's time I went to see Porfessor Oak to get my first Pokemon," Ash said over his shoulder on his way out the door. He lived next to door to a world famous Pokemon researcher named Professor Oak. Professor Oak gets money from the government to find out all about the different stuff about Pokemon. So Ash was going to go to his house and get a Pokemon. Professor Oak had a gigantic research lab connected to his house that his used on Pokemon. Ash was excited and ran to get there even though it was only about 20 feet away. That's when he ran straight into a girl riding her bike down the road.

As they stumbled up and fell everywhere the girls bike rolled off into the first pond that was on Professor Oaks front lawn. "Oh no!" The red headed girl whined, "my name's Misty and you just ruined my bike!" She was pointed her finger at Ash.

Ash sure felt sorry he'd done all that, "I'm sorry," he said, "my name is Abs Catchthem and I want to be a Pokemon master and catch all the snakes so I'm going to see Professor Oak to get my very first Pokemon today!"

Misty couldn't believe her ears and gasped, she was Pokemon too and told him about it.

"Wow," said Ash, "maybe after I get my Pokemon from Prof. Oak we can battle our Pokemon," he said and started on his way again when Misty cried out at him and then Misty jumped out at him to block his way.

"YAAAAA!" Ash shouted out when Misty surprised him. Then he tried to move around her but but she wouldn't budge! "Hey get out of the way Misty!," he said, "I can't go get my Pokemon from the Prof. with you in the way!"

"That's why I'm doing it!" She explained to him with yelling, he was stupid. "You can't go all the way out there," she pointed across the street to the Prof.'s lab, "without a pokemon with you to keep you safe! Don't you know anyhting!"  
"But I walk over there just about every week," Ash protested.

A dark cloud passed over Misty's face, "but today isn't like every other day," Misty said quietly and Ash had to lean to hear her better, "haven't you heard.." she trailed off, looking at him meaningfully...

"Heard what?" Ask asked cagily, he wasn't sure if she was fooling on him or not but was starting to feel scared.

Misty leaned forward even more, their lips were almost touching now but Ash was too freaked out to move, "you haven't heard about the maniac?" Misty asked him in an even lower voice, the whites of her eyes vivid and clearly visible around her dilated pupils. Now Ash really was scared he told her he hadnt heard about all that and that it was pretty crazy.

"Crazy?" Misty said, and started laughing a little, but she stopped very suddenly and looked at Ash again, "crazy is right, police say this maniac is the craziest one ever!"

"That's awful!" Ash cried out.

Misty nodded her head, "it is," she agreed," the maniac goes around doing a lot of bad stuff, her name is evil Misty and she'll chop you up and kill you so you better be careful!"

Ash had no idea about all of that and it really freaked him out but he was glad Misty accepted his invitation to accompany him so she could keep him safe from the maniac like she told him she would.

But when they got to the lab the door had a bunch of big chunks that looked like they had been hacked out of it and it was mostly off the hinges, swaying in the breeze. Inside the once overwhelmingly bright flourescents flickered and buzzed lighting the scene before them in a sharp grisly contrast, a scene of phantasmagoric carnage. Blood covered the walls and once sparkling tile floor. Everywhere were bits of smashed instruments and beakers, bloody handprints and in one corner Ash spied a pair of bent up glasses. There werren't three pokeballs on any of the counters to choose from!

Ash had no idea what to do! He didn't see Prof Oak anywhere and with everything in the lab chopped upto bits and covered in blood he couldn't seem to find the three pokeballs inside one of which contained the path to his destiny. "Do you think the maniac has been here?" He asked as he scanned the lab desperatly to find the pokeballs.

"Could be," Misty said vauely, "this looks like the sort of thing evil Misty would do.."

That's when he found them, they were laying just at his feet and he bent down to get a closer look, "don't worry," he called out to Misty, who didn't seem to be feeling worry, or anything at all, she was just standing there staring blankly, "I just found them."

He started to reach out for the pokeball that was farthest away from him, it had a Levi in it, which he thought was his favorite Pokemon. But when Misty saw which one he was picking she started to really freak out, "don't pick that one or the maniac will get you!" she screamed at him.

"Yaaa! I don't want that!" WHat do i do?"

"You have to get the Pymander if you don't want the maniac to get you," Misty told him, but he didn't want to hear all of that.

"Awwww," Ash whined, "but I dont want Pymander, I want a Levi!" He said and crossed him arms over his chest to show he wouldn't pick up that pokeball.

Misty got even angrier when he did that and she kept yelling at him, "If you keep this up you're getting a Chumbley!" She threatened so he picked up the Pymander pretty quick.


	2. Chapter 2

**+++ author's prolude+++**

 **hey guys, its e. b woodhouse here just chiming in to thank all of my fans for all this wonderful support but a few of you ne'erdowell types are really mucking up the comments section with your false dichotic bitchery, but i'd like to cover a few points in case any of the crazy theories or insinuations about me which have been laid bare in my review section by two slimy dare i say reptillian reviewers who have included in their seemingly innocuous internet grandstanding a disturbingly detailed and elaborate conspiracy to make me look crazy. Let's take a look at some of the facts**

 **Fact 1.? [You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon] `~those brackets mean its a quote~` On the level this comment from a user of this very website seems pretty innocent, just a normal sort of example someone would come up with off the top of their heads, but if you take a closer look it is clear that this is a highly cryptic threat. my very life is being threatened when this anonnymous user claims by proxy to be a blood thirsty razor clawed fire breathing dragon while i play the role of the virtuous but defenseless mouse, dark stuff... dark dark stuff... its sad really, taht someone could be so delusional, but anyway**

 **Fact 2.?[Except you know the officail handbook makes it clear they aren't animals] this is just insane, i have no idea what this person is trying to say or why they could possibly believe anyone out there is anything but oddly bemused by their inchoate attempts at communication, this is a good example of the kind of 'thought tricks' which 'people' like this like to use, my story tells you how to avoid this terrible things and which ones to embrace**

 **Fact 3.? Despite this crytpo-smear campaign, purportedly crarried out by 2 players, despite all of these crazy allegations and paranoid ramblings coming from the mouths of a few ungracious users i am still going strong, e. b woodhouse is here to carry you bravely in to the future**

Chapter Two, wherein the trYe nature of brain moves are revealed.

Ash had so much excitment to finally get to have a pymander, even though he wanted a levi at first. He played with the yellow and orange striped Snake type Pokemon he had recieved under Misty's behest. Pymander is an 9ft long snake type pokemon, one eye is white and one is black and it has a rainbow colored cross in between his eyes, when Pymander is a high enough levelhe will be able to shout lazers out of the rainbow color cross.

Ash looked Pymander up on his pokedex and learned that Pymanders are

Pymander had a lot of neat moves that could be used on other pokemon but Ash didn't have the chance to battle pokemon with Misty becaues she said she was "too busy to battle my poekmon against yours when the maniac is on the loose! Who'se going to keep evil Misty from chopping you up with her axe if I'm distracted with Pokemon!" And that just about settled it.

So even though Ash had a lot fo excitment in his life he was also a very sad boy. At night, when he was laying in his tent and Misty stalked back in forth in front of it to keep him safe from the maniac he would cry and cry and Pymander would lick up the tears that fell down to the floor of the tent. But he knew he could finally battle pokemon one day soon, and until then he learned all about Pymanders different moves so he would have some idea how to battle when he finally got the chance. One of Pymanders moves is called The Heckle Jeckle, Pymander begins to flail his body around all over the place like a giant two ended whip having a seizure and occasionally lands a powerful blow. The other move that Pymander knows was not as powerfull when it came to lessening hte opponents HP points but had another kind of effect )it wasn't an attack move) Percieved Trauma; the opponents pokemon has a 50% chance of getting self diagnosed ptsd, the effects for self diagnosed ptsd are that every 4 turn cycles the move ratio is eliminated by 48% per cyclic half meta cycle having an overall effect of lowering accuracy.

Ash memorized those two moves and their effects and eagerly awaited his first pokemon battle while he and Misty trudged, endlessly it seemed, through the thick dark woods just off the highway, but he figured they were pretty far from the highway by now, they had been walking for days..."C'mon MIsty, lest just have a quick pokemon battle out here in the woods, i bet the maniac would never spend days walking so far into the woods, there aren't enough people to chop up out here only trees so lets just batttle already!" he had jumped out in front of herp ath in his sudden boyish excitment but Misty hit him over the head very hard and sent him sprawling to the ground in a puddle.

"That's exactly what the maniac wants us to do you idiot!" He was so stupid that it made Misty angry, "sometimes I just wish evil Misty would go ahead and chop you up already!"

"Yaaaa!" Ash cried out, he was so afraid of that happening, "but maybe if my pokemon was strong enoguh he could fight off the maniac!"

Misty hit Ash again and cut her eyes at him, "you don't even have any Brain Tokens and you think you can battle pokemon?' She laughed at him for that, "how would your pokemon use its secret brain move without you shattering one of your brain tokens on your plastershield which you dont even have," Misty took a moment to run her fingers along her welll waxed plastershield, which Ash eyed jealously.

"I haven't even heard of that! What are brain moves?"

"Brain moves are every Pokemons secret move that you have to discover for yourself by sacrificing a brain token which you get through quests and meditation or sometimes other ways, and you have to shattter one brain token per each brain move you use and you shatter them against your plastershield of course," Misty paused for a loud gulp of breath and to check to see that Ash was still following her, "Its vitally importatnt that your pokemon doesnt battle any other pokemon until it has a few brain tokens on standby and can use its proxy move just in case... With a maniac on the loose nowhere is safe, even way out here in these secluded woods i've led you to. So you should never run out of brain moves and never draw your pokemon if you are out of brain tokens!"

This gave Ash quit a lot to think about, he had not even heard obrain tokens until just then. He wondered about all the other things that people had lied to him about over the years, that a red dressed old man snuck into his house and left him things, that every night a giant frog swallowed the sun and its bereft lover the moon spent alll night racing toward the spot where shed last seen her mate go into the maw of the beast, reaching her destination she plows straight into the frogs throat bubble neck appendage, the frog spits out the sun adn teh new day is born... he had heard a lot of things in hise life, he had hear a lot of lies...

Misty noticed how quiet and contemplative ash was being and hit him by surprise, "you shouldnt spend so much time alone with your thoughts, the government can shoot beams into your brain and make you crazy! You need to spend less time worrying about all of your crazy delusions and more time talking to me so I can learn more about you and all the ways i can keep you safe from the maniac!" Misty felt angry that Ash didn't seem to care about how much time she was spending keeping him safe from the maniac, she gave up a lot of things to be out in the woods with him, watching him like a hawk at all times... TO BE CONTINUED

)_)_)+t+(_(_AUTHORS SECTION; HEY GUYS ITS E. B WOODHOUSE HERE AGAIN, THANKS FOR READING MY STORY, PLEASE FOLLOW AND REVIEW BUT DO NOT CONTINUE TO FLAME THE STORY OR CONTRIBUTE TO THESE WILD ALLEGATIONS BEING THROWN MY WAY)_)_)+t+(_(_


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY EVERYONE JUSR A QUICK AUTHORS NOTE HERE ;**

 **I thought i'd monoplolise everyoens time here for a minute to reiterate that i have no associate with Tarlac and am not gangstalking anyone so you can just calm down Dragon's Blaze, that guy is _so paranoid_**

 ** _anyway i also wanted to just point out thath te parts in bold are not part of the story nad if you dont want to read the atuhros notes its okay bcause they take place in an alternate cannon that the story does_ hope you guys enjoy my holiday special!'`*'` -e. b woodhouse**

Ash and Misty had been walking through the forest for about a week now, they had lost a lot of weight because all they had to eat were riceballs and leaves but still the conitinued their endless trek onwards. Misty insisted that the maniac loved it when people battled their poklemon so Ash kept his Pymander inside the pokeball except for when she went off by herself for a couple hours each day to run errands. He wasn't sure what typeo f errands she ran but she would not talk about them or hit him over the head with a big mallet she carried around so he never found out. At first he didnt like it when Misty bonked him with her hammer but he was starting to realize it was just her way of helping him learn.

One day he took a nap while Misty went off to do errands and when she came back he told her all about hte dram he had wheil she was away, "it was great," he laughed, 'hahahah;'"in my dream i was skiing with my mom and Pymander and then we saw a rainbow," He rolled over in the grass wile cherryblossom floated by in the late srping breeze. "I can't wait to go to sleep again and have a nother fun dream like that one!"

Misty was completely shock by what Ash has to say. Can she be hearing htis right? "Don't you know anything!" Misty exclaimed, Misty pointed at Ash while advancing on him and yelling, "Dreams arent just random signals your brain fires around while your body rests, people don't really need to ever sleep at all, its why cell walls eventually decay, through inactivity, because of sleeping!" Ash had falend over in his shock! Cell walls!? What was this all about, he listened to Misty to keep hearing what she said, "Youre dream was obviously a vision, the snow repressents winter which shows you have subconciously become aware of hte fact that you have reached the stage where your body is no longer growing and is just dying, the rainbow represents your blossoming homosexuality!" Misty had a lot of crazy things to say, she also said that "these kinds of visions can be usesfull sometimes but just like a crafty poison they weaken you over time," she pointed to the sky and all the stars in it, "tonight is the cusp, the first day of true summer, a night of potent energies, Hexennacht, in some places... obviously the higher beings set against you have been using these crazies delusions to lower your integrity and make you more susceptible!"

Aash had no idea about all that! He just wanted to catch Pokemon and here he was learning all this cosmological chicanery. "But what does it make me more susceptible to?" He wanted to know so he asked her

"To further dream visions which only ever grow in intensity and efficiencey and 'that's when the fun really begins my brain cools off when that day is done and then i tuck myself in' is a direct quote from a song which is actually about how people don't need to ever sleep, so i brewed you up this concotion of mushrooms and various roots and mimosa root shavings so you can stay awake and clear your head of all these crazy thoughts you've been having that are keeping you from becoming a pokemon master." Misty was handing Ash a wooden cup filled with a strange murky liquid that smelt horrible and tasted worse, but Ash managed to drink it all donw, after all, he awas going to be a Pokemon master!\

Ash began to feel it alsmot immediately. He layed back on the ground and began to watch the stars, Misty had been teaching him the constellation, telling him to use the stars to guide him should the Maniac ever come for him. He was so calm and still he could feel the world spinning around, "well," Misty said, "I've got some errands to do," she left.

Ash was a little woroed about that. It was very late at night as far as he could tell, Misty had smashed his watch on a rock two days ago, "time is an abstract concept!" she had shrilled at him while doing so, so he didn't know exactly how late it was, but it seemed far too late to be running errands, out here, in the woods. He didn't think he could even move any more, he felt like his body had molded against the grass he was laying on now and that he was a plant boy.

Thta's when the maniac attacked! Misty had told Ash all about Evil Misty, the crazy Maniac who led people off to remote areas and chopped them up with an axe but he had never really believed... not until now! He sturggled to his feet and fell lurching over to his side, throwing up in the process, that's when she sturck! It hurt like the dickens too because she used her axe to chop of his foot!

"Yaaaaaaa!" Ash cried out, clutching his severly bleeding ankel. Evil Misty spat in his face and ran away, "Seeya later kid!" She caterwauled mockingly as she made her escape. Blood gushed from between ashes clenched fingers, he had the sensation that he could still feel his blood as it gushed out of him, he was aware of parts of himself soaking into the ground.

Luckliy Misty showed up rpeety shortly after that, "Oh no!" She cried when she had seen what Evil Misty had done. She ran over to Ash and helped him bandage of his ragged stump of an ankle, "good thing I went to get all these bandages I had stashed nearby for just such an emergency," she was explain to Ash as she wrapped his foot up. Ash couild barely understand a word she said at this point though, he saw her as a fourway intersection between the heads of a lion a bull an eagle and Leslie Neilsons faces, she shimmered almost unbearbly and he decided not to look at her too long, her words seeped into his ears as his blood tendriled down the bones buried beneath the earth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ash sure was dizzy from all the blood he lost when Evil Misty snuck up on him and chopped his foot off. He had tried to tell Misty all about it because she was still insisting that they keep up their frantic trek through the forest into the dense unkown core, because of one of Misty's vauge implrications of a plan... But anyway; when Ash tried to slacken up his pace because he was so tired from hopping around on his one remaining foot while his ragged filthy ankle swayd about uselessly Misty sure was mad at him, and she told him all about it too, "You are so crazy Ash! I'm sick and tired of listening to your paranoid ramblings about 'Evil Misty chopped off my foot' this and 'my ragged stump of**

 **an ankle hurts from all this hopping' that!" She said.**

 **"But Evil Misty chopped my foot right off!" Ash protested, for the how so many'th time that afternoon, Misty cringed with rage, she was starting to believe that maybe Ash had chopped his own foot off himself, she had been gone when it had happened..and she sure hadn't seen any sight of Evil Misty, but it seemed like whevere AbS Catchthem went, Evil Misty and her trail of blood followed before...**

 **Ash and Misty were in the woods and they came up to a stream, "there," Misty settled up near the bank against a slumped over pine, the tree was covered in ticks and the little thigns began to crawl all over her, her outfit left a lot of exposed skin. "Get you some of that water if your so tired from hopping around on your one remaining foot all day," she told Ash, in a sarcastic way, it seemd to him, but he couldn't know thatm abye he was or was not just being overly emotional because he had lost a limb the night before. "**

 **"But I'm not thristy Misty!" Ash complain "I am tired from all this hoping on one leg because I'm used to walking all day into the heart of the forest on two legs, so I don't think a drink of stream water will really do anything for that..."**

 **"What are you crazy?" Misty wanted to know "if you are so tired all the time then you dont need water at all, actually you should only ever drink water when you are wide awake never sleepy."**

 **Misty has just given Ash a whole lot to think about so he keeps listening to her and asked how to not be so tired "you need to eat these mushrooms with the white spots on them," Misty answered him, pointing to the base of a nearby tree Ash had collapsed in exhaustion near to. Ash rolled over on the his side to get a better look at these mushrooms Misty kept talking about. They grew in a circle and the were all red with white spots, "which one do I eat to keep from being tired again?" Ash watned to know.**

 **Thats why Misty answerd him saying " the red one. Eat six of-no-eat eight of them," she said...**

 **Ash thinks he complied, Misty usually gave good advice, and when he didn't take her advice he always got smacked up against the head with something so he thinks he bro'd down them shrooms but that afternoon is all a blur to him after her reponse and until late evening when he came to with Misty, red faced, sweat streaming down her brows and staining her yellow now orange and slimy(with blood) blouse, a shrill raspy whisper the only thing left of her once intimidating roar, the result of at least 2 full hours of beration and screaming that Ash can't or wont recall... "...you just lie around all day bleeding out of hte ragged stump at the end of your left leg while I'm here trying to liberate you from your earth-ego, the inner typhon that shackles your higher aspects, and all you do is pass out and not listen to any of the important things i tell you then i find you doing drugs! i dont associate with losers and only losers do drugs and you are high on drugs because i saw you eat a bunch of those crazy mushrooms that fuck you up in a bad way and not even like fun or anything just fuck you up what the hell where you thinking! You weren't! You were just being crazy old Ash, doing my crazy crazy stupid things i do because i am insanse'' Thats you!" Misty pointed a finger at Ash, who was still unconcoius because of all the amanitas he had scarfed down, his last coheretn thought was 'these are brolicious', "that's what you sound like!" Misty continued, "with all your crazy ramblings and periods of comatose whatever your doing now with the missing foot and being unconcoius thing or whatever thats all about im starting to think the elites have gotten to you and that youre really a lizard sleeper agent... you better not be..." Misty checkted to see that Ash was stil asleep,**

 **"because I think I love you..." She went in to kiss him, she checked his eyes to make sure he was into it.**

 **Ash stared back at her mysteriously. His dull unconcious stare revealed not a lick of what he was thinking about or anything like to all that so Misty just didnt know, but she thought that just maybe. just maybe he was feeling it too...**

 **He had been drooling for a while, but as Misty lifted him to her, his slack neck dangling his head back and sending the ropey tail of his mouth salivia dangling around his chin the drooling turned into a carnal salivation of lust, Misty leaned in to seal the deal with her lips when he came to suddenly and started coughign right in her face!**

+++...+++hey guys it's e. b woodhouse here, tyring something new with the authors notes as you can see here, the main part of the story is in bold but i'm going to do all of my authors notes out of bold and without any capitol letters so that they are less intrusive to the story, anyway, thanks for reading so far and keep on trucking if you like what you have read so far...+++...

 **"How could you!" She rasped at him in her ruined voice, "why are you trying to spit on me! I cant believe i put my life aside and spend all this time to lead you all this way into the woods and you turn around and take all these drugs and cough and hack up phlegm into my face!" Misty started crying and slapped Ash a couple of times, then she ran into the woods!**

 **Ash was really sacred then because without her to protect him and no way to run away with just the one foot left and disoriented as he was to boot there is no way he can fight off the maniac again! What will happen next? Will Misty ever reveal her true feelings for Ash? Will Ash become pokemon? Will Evil Misty chopped everybody up before that happens?" Find out**


	5. Chapter 5

" _I am so hungry bro_ " Misty told Ash when he woke up from his nap. He was just as hungry as she was and gave her daps because they were on the same vibration with all that. He was finally ready to forgive her for calling him a drug addict.

Ash sighed and sat up from his sleeping bag, Misty already had a fire going and was making them a bro'd out snacktakular brunch it seemed."whatcha got crackalackin for the snackin brosh?" He asked her, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I aint even about to ruin the surprise, you'll just have to find out as you gnosh down on it broski doodle" She scoffed at him, she was playful like that and liked to tease Ash, but just about little things she was a total bro about it.

"Come on dog," he insisted, "I'm tryna bro-down on some tricked out fries, y'know?" Ash sighed and watched the sun rise after he said that.

Misty stifled a pleased giggle, That was just what Misty was making, she was making them exactly like they do from Bojangles* because Bojangles tricks their fries out the best.. she had been swaggerjacking that recipe for a long time, and she only used it for her bros. _Brojangles for bros_ was her kitchen, or in this case fire pit in the woods, motto but anyway I'm trying something a little new with the Author's Note and just putting it less obtrusively into the story this way so I can keep in touch with my fans and readers and not really distract people from the story or trick them into thinking that each chapter has two stories or whatever but one of them is just some weird narrator pretneding to be the author talking about what the authors writes and shit, whats up with that?but anyway hope you enjoy chapter 5

 **Ash cowers in fear under the crescent moon**

 **Misty is gone**

 **And he is fear tripping on amanitas and blood loss**

 **The story continues :::**

 ***(** Bojangles is a southeastern Fried Chicken Store, so you might not have one in your region, just fyi... **)**

 ****(** This is a reference to the five *** bankers **)**

 **"Damn," Ash exclaimed as he woke up. He had had one hell of a night, first he ate a bunch of crazy mushrooms then he passed out, also Misty is gone! He had forgotten all about that when he was asleep but he remembmered once he was awake again and quickly scanned the horizon for any sight of Misty.**

 **He saw no sight of her**

but through the lens of his jaded gaze

... nothing is to be seen

Ash sighed and didn't even bother looking for Misty anymore. He was pretty much over it at this point in his life. Here he was, chasing his crazy dreams and he didn't even have any brain tokens of gem badges and his foot got chopped off by the maniac.

 _how will i battle and collect Pokemon now? with my missing foot..._

 _Ash was_ already tired of dealing with the problems and stresses of the life of a Pokemon trainer and catching, just like his pa done before him and got et by a snake, Ash figured with all of his luck he'd be et up by two snakes! But he didnt let that get him down, he was going to prove Misty wrong and resolve himself to his higher will and collect lots of brain tokens. Obviously the only thing to do after losing any amount of mobility is to focus on pyschic and pyschokinetic powers. So Ash started dragging himself around on his tummy looking for brain tokens.

This is when Misty returns. Ash had to watch her closely to be sure she was actually Misty and not that manac, Evil Misty, who looked exactly like and wore the exact same clothes as Misty... But it was just Misty because she gave Ash thta special look that he had come to associate with severe, and if not always outright pleasureable then at least interesting head trips of a cluster fuck of something to tellhim. He was sure that with her sage advice he would be the pokemon master one day.

"I'm Looking for brain tokens," he says.

Misty has no idea what she can be hearing right now! "Brain tokens? Don't you know anything? The lyrics to Ocean Man by Ween have clear references to Nietchein philosphy who adaptaded a lot of ideas from Jung, Stirner, Heigel and other more overtly occult influenced writers, as well as 'Crusts' , as in the line

THE CRUST OF THE TAN MAN IMBIBED BY THE SAND

SOAKING OF THE THIRST OF THE LAND

and, more overtly

THE CRUST IS ELUSIVE WHEN IF CASTS FORTH TO THE CHILDLIKE MAN

 **(((** which is a call back to the previous line of the song ; CAM YOU SEE THROUGH THE WONDER OF AMAZEMENT AT THE OBERMAN, thats the philosphy part..._ **)))**

all these pointed and obvioulsy potent references to crusts are obviously meant to be Qliphoth, also known as the Astral Muk," Misty continued saying, Ash gave her his full attention because he wante to catched every pokemon there is, "and the ocean man himself that the singer wants to be offered the hand of to be taken to another land, this Ocean Man, is clearly a shot, and a risky one at that, at freemansonry and all its proponants who claim to be descended and servants of The Sacred Flame. The ocean man is hte Leviathon to their Behomoth,"

"wow Misty that is really crazy i didnt know all about that,." Ash told Misty.

But Misty didnt like that at all! She jumped at Ash screaming, "Don't call me crazy you drug addict! You dont even have two feet to stand on when you call me that so you better watch your mouth or I'll stop leading you endlessly on into this remote wilderness!"

How will Ash have that Pokemon now? He doesn't know, but he is ready to give it his all so that's why he accepted the ciggarette that misty offered him when she told him he needed to calm down. He had never smoked a cigarette before and it tasted a little weird to him so he coughed a lot butg he managed to get alsmot all the way through it before he thought to ask her what kind of cigarette it was, because it sure did not seem store bought

Just then Thunder Cracks. The Sky Is Rent. Ash realizes all too well all that late... He had been a little off put by the Ayahuasca Misty had tricked him into drinking the night his foot got chopped off by the maniac, and then the very next night he had scarfed down a bunch of deliriant mushrooms, but all of that had been just childplays. Misty had toyed with his mind under these vulnerable and mutable conditions, but he had held his own pretty well he thought, his was a tough headed boy of ten and could pretty much take care of himself as long as he had his pokemon with his. But how will he cope with the devastating effects of the marijuana cigarette Misty just tricked him into smoking? Ash is very frustrated with Misty because this is the thrid night in a row she has done this kind of thing and at least the aya and amanitas had been funny , but he was complete unprepared for doing weed.

He began shaking all over, clear visions of devils and viscera burning his reitna. His retinas burned with all sorts of terrible sights, Misty grinned over him and in his drug induced delirium he saw her as a split being with scales and breasts and a throbbing snake twined cock and horns and she was both Misty and Evil Misty, beyond that he does not recall.

... ... ... The Harbinger


End file.
